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Newz Korp
Stories in Progress
One of our reporters tells the harrowing story of living through a mental heart attack while checking in to Foxwood Resort and Casino after the check in clerk says, “I see on my computer that you’re checking in for 93 days. Please make sure you enroll to our players club rewards program during your extended stay.”
Foxwood Casino Bartenders and Cocktail Servers guide to Pick Up Lines. Do they work and are they worth it? Live video updates and polling statistics coming soon.
The Fox Tower Pool is full and is opening on time. Live reporting from our Memorial Day DJ set.
Deep dive interview with Mudvayne and POD, Newz Korp is BTS.
Roulette…Is it a Russian based game or just advanced trigonometry?
Cambidge Robson, who specializes on articles regarding arts and leisure, tells how he elevates the hotel’s ordinary cafeteria meals to the next level by simply adding Frank’s Red Hot sauce. He also live reports from the last fully operational water run sawmill in America. It’s only 5 minutes down the road from our Resort home and casino.
Party Pat reports a Break Dancer sprays Pledge furniture polish on his hat to minimize friction and help him spin faster on his head. The dancer leaves a grease mark on the floor and somebody slips.
Cambidge Robson reports live from the daily race from Fox Tower to set. Can the 8-minute mark be beaten? Live Statistics are being compiled.
Party Pat lets the code out for the secret newly opened speak sleazy bar and DJ booth located somewhere in the Casino.
Info Ed Global’s yearly conference and charity classic completes a hostel takeover of Newz Korps backyard and forces the cancellation of our sunset DJ Set. The front desk is flooded with complaints from hotel guests.
It's rumored that episode 7 of the second season will all take place inside a Beef Wellington. (dorms, challenges, cross overs...all inside the pastry shell
Gordan Ramsey calls NewzKorp’s music division “a bunch of low rent Calvin Harris wanna be DJs.” Director of Music, DJ Party Melt, always on the decks, DJ Amir, and DJ Cash Bar and shaken to the core that such a great compliment could be given to our ever aspiring musical collective. At Newzkorp.com we are hoping positive reviews similar to this will help us in our negotiations with Foxwood Resort and Casino management to sanction our events.
**Things are Cooling Down at the Hot Tub**
*Mashantucket, CT* – In an unexpected turn of events, the much-anticipated grand opening of the Foxwoods Resort Casino's new pool area has hit a rather chilly snag. The star attraction, the luxurious hot tub, has decided to take an impromptu winter vacation, leaving eager visitors with nothing more than lukewarm dreams.
Reports surfaced early this morning that the hot tub, meant to be the crown jewel of the revamped pool area, is broken and, quite literally, cold. This development is a severe blow to the resort's plans to host large groups of people from the city, who had been looking forward to soaking their stress away in the steamy bubbles.
Kiona, a staff member who wished to remain semi-anonymous, shared her perspective: "It's like the hot tub took one look at our grand opening plans and said, 'Nah, I'm good.' We've got guests expecting to dip into paradise, and instead, they're stepping into an Arctic expedition."
The timing couldn't be worse. With the poolside revelry set to kick off this weekend, the cold tub – as it is now being humorously dubbed by staff – is leaving a frostbite-sized hole in the resort's plans. Guests who had visions of sipping cocktails while relaxing in a toasty oasis are now more likely to be seen shivering with mugs of hot cocoa, trying to salvage a semblance of warmth.
The maintenance team is working around the clock to rectify the situation, but the frigid reception has already sparked a flurry of jokes and memes across social media. One Twitter user quipped, "Looks like Foxwoods' hot tub is colder than my ex's heart," while another suggested, "Maybe they should rebrand it as a polar plunge experience."
In the face of this unexpected setback, the resort's management remains optimistic. "We're committed to providing our guests with the best possible experience, even if it means adding a few extra blankets and heating lamps for now," said a spokesperson. "Rest assured, the hot tub will be back to its steamy self soon."
In the meantime, visitors are encouraged to explore other amenities at Foxwoods. After all, the casino floor is always hot, even if the hot tub isn't.
Random hotel guests report to Newz Korp that Mars and Jupiter have broken their orbit and are crashing toward earth. They point out they can clearly see the planets accelerating towards us. Newz Korp informs them they are visibility markers for the Foxwood Resort zip line. They argue and have a different opinion. The guests are either unintelligent, or on LSD. Newz Korp quickly becomes bored and tired and fails to complete the story.
Timmy Tubesox unleashes a culinary breakthrough in Mashantucket, CT. On the last day of May, Foxwoods Resort & Casino decides to take a fresh approach to employee well-being with the introduction of a new, healthier menu item in the employee cafeteria: the Rancher Quesadilla. This exciting addition aims to offer a nutritious yet satisfying meal option for the hardworking staff.
The Rancher Quesadilla features a whole wheat tortilla filled with grilled chicken, black beans, roasted vegetables, and a blend of reduced-fat cheeses, all topped with a tangy avocado-lime sauce. This dish not only caters to the taste buds but also supports healthier eating habits.
"The item is a move to new healthier options to help boost morale amongst the staff," said Thelma, a line cook at the cafeteria. "We wanted to provide something that's not only delicious but also good for you. It's important for our team to have access to meals that help them feel their best."
The introduction of the Rancher Quesadilla is part of a broader initiative by Foxwoods to enhance the overall well-being of its employees. The aim is to offer meals that are both nourishing and enjoyable, helping staff maintain high energy levels and positive spirits throughout their shifts.
Employees have responded positively to the new menu item, praising its flavor and the thoughtful approach to healthier eating. "It's great to see the cafeteria offering something that's not only tasty but also good for our health," commented one staff member. "It definitely makes a difference in how we feel at work."
Foxwoods plans to continue expanding its menu with more health-conscious options, reinforcing its commitment to employee wellness. The Rancher Quesadilla is just the beginning of a delicious journey toward better nutrition and improved morale for the staff.
For now, the Rancher Quesadilla is a standout hit, and Thelma and the rest of the cafeteria team are eager to see the positive impact it will have on the Foxwoods family.
The dirty slots have been removed from the casino and new cleaner slots have arrived to replace them.
Our newest hire, Timmy Tubesox, reports about a bizarre incident over the weekend during the Memorial Day opening of the Fox Tower Pool.
B. Simmons, a middle-aged woman from Norwich, CT, shocked onlookers at a local hot tub facility by exposing herself following a heated verbal altercation.
Witnesses reported that the altercation began as a minor disagreement over hot tub space but quickly escalated. B, known to be a regular at the facility, was seen arguing loudly with another patron before the situation took an unexpected turn.
According to those present, B stood up in the middle of the argument and, in a moment of rage, flashed her genitalia at the crowd. The onlookers, a mix of adults and a few teenagers, were left stunned by the sudden and inappropriate display.
One witness, who preferred to remain anonymous, said, “It was completely out of the blue. One minute she was yelling, and the next she was exposing herself. Everyone was just shocked.”
The facility’s management acted swiftly, calling local authorities to handle the situation. B was escorted out of the premises by Norwich police and later issued a citation for public indecency.
B. has not publicly commented on the incident, but her actions have sparked a conversation in the community about appropriate behavior in public spaces. Local officials are reviewing policies to prevent similar occurrences in the future.